Is Only Memory Forever?
by DezoPenguin
Summary: The return of a familiar face brought happiness to many, but for Jaune it also knocked askew perspectives and understanding he'd just begun to find. Set during V7E2.


"SAL—"

They stared, one and all, at the voice raised, at the figure that had descended to Mantle's street.

"—U—"

Amazement. Shock. Bewilderment.

"—TATIONS!"

Penny exploded into movement with a roar of the foot-mounted rockets that propelled her into a literal flying tackle. She crashed into Ruby, arms clasping around her in a giant, flying hug. Utter confusion consumed Ruby. She didn't understand—wouldn't understand until later, when it was explained to them by Pietro Polendina.

At least one person, though, did understand. No one was looking at him—sometimes, he thought they never did—with Penny and Ruby consuming all their attention. And so no one saw the wince of pain that passed across Jaune Arc's face.

~X X X~

The dorm rooms at Atlas Academy were like the rest of the building—the rest of Atlas, apparently, at least going by the parts of it they'd seen. Clean, neat, efficient, with smooth lines and pristine construction that impressed with its solidity and stability...and with nothing personal to it at all, all of it white and blue and gray and _cold_, like the machines that were everywhere, consuming so much of the city's life, far more than even Vale.

_Machines..._

And that thought brought Jaune back around to their tour guide, the sprightly, freckled redhead who was, ironically, about as _un_-machinelike as he could imagine. Which brought back another surge of emotion, a claw of pain opening a wound he'd thought was closed, or at least closing, after Argus.

"_Damn_ it!" he shouted, and crashed his fist into the bare wall next to his bunk. Physical pain shot through his hand, momentarily stifling the emotional pain, embarrassment at his stupidity replacing grief and anger for a time, until he heard _her_ voice in his memory, asking, "Why didn't you activate your Aura?" and it all came crashing back.

At least he was alone.

"Jaune?"

_Nope. Can't even have that._

He turned around. At least it was only Ren. The door was closed; the other boy had followed him in. Nora hadn't followed, which was unusual; the two of them were usually joined at the hip, especially since they'd started their journey to Haven. Maybe she'd been distracted by a wandering pancake vendor or something.

"You, uh, saw that, huh?" Jaune rubbed the back of his neck.

"I did." Ren's voice was even, calm, nonjudgmental, as it always was. That was the thing about Ren, Jaune thought. Jaune's parents, his sisters, Ruby, _Pyrrha_, they...they'd always been there for him, supporting him, trying their best to help him when they thought he needed it. But part of support was the initial belief that someone had a problem that _needed_ help, and in that Jaune's loved ones were as keen-eyed as the world's Cardin Winchesters in finding his points of vulnerability.

Ren was almost unique in that, for the most part, he just let Jaune be Jaune, accepting his friend and team leader for who he was.

"Is it something you want to talk about?" he offered.

"N-no, it's nothing."

"All right," Ren said, offering a slight bow of his head. "They're going to expect us in a few minutes." He turned, and headed back towards the door. He was reaching out to open it when Jaune called out.

"Wait!"

Ren paused, glancing back.

"I guess I do want to talk about it," Jaune sighed.

"All right," Ren said, in the same tone as he'd accepted the initial refusal. Jaune dropped onto his bunk, and Ren sat opposite him. "It's Penny, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it's Penny. First, it's Ozpin. He died at Beacon, but now he's back, caught up in Oscar's head. And now Penny. She died at Beacon, but now she's back, apparently better than ever. Everyone's back, Ren. _Why not her_?"

He knew he wasn't being fair, of course. It wasn't _everyone. _There had been plenty of people at Amity Arena, plenty more at Beacon and in the city of Vale, to say nothing of the crew on board the Atlesian airships when their machines had turned on them. Those fallen doubtless had left their own grieving sorrows behind them. But those who had been there, at the heart of events, those directly linked to Teams RWBY and JNPR... "Penny's death set _everything_ off, and it essentially _hadn't even happened_, Ren. Ozpin couldn't even stop Cinder, but he just popped back into somebody else's body. But not Pyrrha. Why not Pyrrha, Ren?"

"I don't know."

Jaune hunched forward, hands clenched.

"From what Ruby told us, all of this...it's all because one person couldn't accept death." He let out a deep breath. "Okay. I mean, I can get that. And Pyrrha...she'd do it all over again, I'm sure. Trying to give people a chance. Right?"

"She would always do everything she could to help others," Ren agreed. "It was the duty of a Huntress, even to making the ultimate sacrifice if she believed it was the right choice in the moment."

Jaune slammed his fist down onto the bunk. At least the mattress was softer than the wall, even though it was made up so tightly he could have bounced a coin off it.

"Here's what I can't get past, Ren. Pyrrha thought she'd _killed_ Penny. That Emerald girl made her lose control in the arena like she did Yang, but Pyrrha didn't know that. Hell, none of us put it all together until Haven, right, when she got scared and showed us all Salem. Pyrrha...she thought she'd _killed_ a girl in a sparring match, put it in front of a whole stadium of shocked and panicked people who called a whole horde of Grimm down on us."

"Fear that Cinder used, in turn, to spread still more fear and confusion," Ren agreed.

"So tell me this, Ren. If Pyrrha had known that she _hadn't_ killed Penny, if she didn't have blood on her hands"—he winced internally at the maladroit metaphor for a robot's death—"would she still have accepted Ozpin's offer? Would she have tried to become the Fall Maiden? Would _any_ of it have happened the same way?"

And then Ren, imperturbable Ren, drew his breath in with a hiss, even as Jaune kept talking.

"It's bad enough that Pyrrha died. It's bad enough that everyone else seems to just keep on coming back while we're told we just have to accept that Pyrrha is gone. But that she could have given away her life _because of a lie..._"

And then the tears came, hot and hard, streaming down his cheeks, at all the loss and waste and fresh pain of it.

A hand rested on his shoulder, light but strong.

"I don't know, Jaune. From what you've told us, Pyrrha was torn right up to the end whether or not she should accept Ozpin's offer. Maybe what happened pushed her to make the choice she did. And maybe not. Maybe she'd have done everything the same if she'd had a whole year to think it through. But...no matter what the truth of it is, we can't change the past. And there's something else, besides."

Jaune lifted his head, and Ren offered him a small smile.

"Pyrrha would never have had a moment's regret that there was one more survivor than we thought."

And then Jaune smiled too.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's true." _Especially_ that particular survivor, for every reason he'd just recited.

The door hissed open.

"Come _on_, you two!" Nora called. "It's just a _dorm_, and we've got the whole rest of the school to see! Do you know they've got _vending machines_ that sell _pancake pockets_? Um, and that reminds me, Ren, do you know how to get syrup off a shirt without having to run it through the laundry? I didn't want to have to change again today."

Ren sighed.

"Nora, we've been over this. This is why they have things called napkins." He headed for the door, then looked back over his shoulder. "Are you coming, Jaune?"

Jaune pushed himself to his feet. Ren hadn't asked _are you all right? _That would have been a stupid question. But he was moving forward, even if he did need a nudge now and again from his friends

"Yeah. I'll be right there. Just give me a sec, okay."

"Of course." He pursed his lips. "I'm sure Nora will have plenty to occupy us until you're ready to catch up."

"Well, you know, a leader's got to be able to count on his team, right?"

Ren didn't roll his eyes, shake his head, or smirk at the attempt at humor. But then, he wouldn't have been Ren if he did. And if Jaune wasn't quite ready to imagine a tall, Amazonian redhead who would, he was sure that some day he would be.


End file.
